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you are my sweetest down fall.

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04:51 pm 3/29/07 talk	shannyn_paix j'adore France Gall


01:48 am 2/25/07 talk	shannyn_paix fuck. i missed my chance. what the hell???? well... at least i see you during school....


09:12 pm 2/21/07 talk	shannyn_paix kissing in the rain. shit. why? why now? why can't i be descreet? why can't you stop being perfect. why do i have to be what you don't want? what the hell is wrong with me? shit. i wish didnt like you.


06:28 pm 2/6/07 2 of words talk	shannyn_paix the good the bad and the ugly. old people chicago


05:54 pm 1/17/07 talk	shannyn_paix grrr. why the fuck can't i go for a whole day???? i'm getting fat. damn.


05:54 pm 1/17/07 2 of words talk	shannyn_paix mkay... wow. you're really cute. i like you i think.


09:09 pm 1/9/07 1 word talk	shannyn_paix sweet. so now i feel fat. i hate stupid buckeyes and then was an idiot and weighed myself. i thought i was gonna cry.


09:47 pm 1/7/07 1 word talk	shannyn_paix story of my life... only not really. i get to wake up at 6:45 tomorrow. life is good. i drove home in heavy rain. it was hard.(lolz.

11:14 pm
1/6/07

4 of words
talk

shannyn_paix

what do you call....?

a girl with awful music blaring at her

two little boys running around her

a drunken father walking around aimlessly

a stomach aching in pain

who smells of flea markets

and wishes she could go home.

feeling:

disgusted

01:24 pm
12/24/06

talk

shannyn_paix

aRT mUSEUM fIELD tRIP.

aLIEN fINGERS.

dRAG qUEEN dAN.

lOVE iN sTONE.

jAPANESE fLAG, eUROPEAN lANDSCAPE.

oNE dRIP dROP aND rEALITY iS gONE.

nOTHING.

vROOM.

feeling:	obtrusive.
listening to:	styrofoam plates.

01:01 pm
12/24/06

1 word
talk

shannyn_paix

wisconsin, how i love thee.

LIGHTHOUSE.

KITTY.

JAM.

VAST.

SUNNY FOREST.

WATCH YOUR STEP.

at:	mess of a room.
feeling:	you.
listening to:	death cab for cutie.

10:22 pm
12/23/06

talk

shannyn_paix

list of what makes me sad at the moment.

stomach aches.
chocolate breath.
wisdom teeth.
happy music.
underwear.
hair.
headaches.
computers.
relationships.
eating.
sweets.
anxiety disorders.
alcoholics.
insecurity.
smells.
control.
sleepiness.

feeling:	blah.
listening to:	voxtrot.

02:43 pm
12/21/06

talk

shannyn_paix

how is your day?

i burned rice

now my house smells like burnt rice

and it's cold 'cause i opened a window to get rid of the smell.

sweet.

at:	home.
feeling:	impassive
listening to:	the mountain goats.

10:20 pm
12/18/06

talk

shannyn_paix

i could be a flower rised up from the dirt.

1. One secret.
2. One compliment.
3. One non-compliment.
4. Lyrics to a song.
5. How old you are.
6. How long we've been friends?
7. And a hint to who you are

feeling:

doo doo.

09:59 pm
12/18/06

1 word
talk

shannyn_paix

took a slice of wonder bread and went back to bed.

i feel really good right now.
i should take showers more often.
regina spektor makes me feel connected.

i wonder why we are all so confused. why is social connection so important?

i love/hate my relationships with everyone.

why do people judge?

why do we dream and not act?

why are we so skeptical?

why do we lie?

why are we afraid of rejection?

why is it all so complicated?

i wish life could be as simplific as the media makes it sounds.
i want to be more reclusive. not so outgoing. i want to stop telling everyone everything.

i'm gonna try.

i think i'm gonna delete my myspace.
hm.

i had fun today. what a surprise.

my stomach still hurts everytime i eat.

what should i do about that hm?

i wonder what its like to be autistic.....

at:	the clouds of marzipan.
feeling:	content.
listening to:	samson. regina spektor.

09:19 pm
12/17/06

3 of words
talk

shannyn_paix

i keep waving at the taxis....

doo doo doo. i think i'm going to attempt to stop eating so many sweets. it's icky and i keep feeling sick. i think part of the sick feeling is because i am having 24h anxiety and am on my period, giving me the feeling that the world is annoying. though, it's really not. i was talking to teresa, all the world is the way it is for balance. and when you are born you have this connection to everything. nature, ideas, air, everything. but as you grow, some people loose it or block it off with bad memories. these are the people who hunt and destroy the world. but those of us with the connection are there to balance them and to help save what is being destroyed. everything is the way it is to keep life in balance. we must go through the pain and love because we must learn our lessons to influence the world in order to keep balance. also, suicide is lame. only those pathetic, self-serving, pompus, cowards with no thought for any one but themselves kills themselves, they wallow in their own pathetic pain. well we all feel pain, but those of us who are strong learn and evolve from pain. we dont just sit there crying about it. and disapointment is interesting. we are dissapointed because we expect, we expect because we assume. so we can never be disapointed if we don't assume. i really love the world. it's so amazing and complex, with layer after layer of emoition. i ate too much tonight. tommorow i think i'm gonna try eating healthier. haha. like that's going to work. i know i'm a hypocrite. i accept that fact and move on with my life. wow. i don't know where all that came from.

at:	mars.
feeling:	calm
listening to:	natalie's.

04:24 am
12/11/06

talk

shannyn_paix

w00t.

200 THINGS ABOUT ME ARE:

200 My name is: shannyn.

199 I was born in: elgin.

198 I am: bored.

197 My eye color is: hazel.

195 My shoe size is: 8.5- 9

194 My ring size is: its too magical to post.

193 My Favorite Color is:green or red. but not together.

192 My height is: 5'5

193 I'm allergic to: http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=136728486&imageID=1532283954

190 I live in: naperville.

189 The last book I read: the alchemist.

188 My bed time is: when i get sleepy.

187 First Screen name: brokenlilfiary.

186 Current Screen name: shannynjeanne.

179 My favorite Holiday is: new years. or nats birthday.

178 The perfect kiss is: awsum.

177 The last three songs I listened to: fidelity. us. better.

176 Last song that made me almost cry was: i forget.

172 My most treasured possession(s): my people.

170 What did you do today: stuff.

167. My skin's reaction to the sun is: burn.

168. I Do Not Believe in: organized religion.

GOOD THING THIS THING SKIPPED A BILLION QUESTIONS.

143. Do you still believe in Santa: ofcourse! he's one of my best friends and bakes for me.

142. Love at First Sight: not sure.

141. Luck: uhh. destiny?.

140. Fate: yes.

139. God: sorta.

138. Alien(s): ofcourse.

137. Heaven: kinda.

136. Hell: no.

135. Ghosts:yes..

134. Horoscopes: yup.

133. Soul mates:yea..

Which is Better?

129. Hugs or Kisses: hugs.

128. Drunk or High: high.

127. Phone or online:phone.

126. Red heads or Brunettes: brunettes.

125. Blondes or Brunettes: Brunettes.

124 Lamb and tuna or peanut butter and jelly: peanut butter and banana.

123 pool or darts: pool.

122 sci-fi or horror: both.

121 eat at home or eat out: out.

120 Night or Day: night.

119 Oranges or Apples: apples.

118 Curly or Straight hair: natural curly, fake straight.

What comes to your head?

117 Scary: alcoholic.

115 Backstabbers: teenagers.

116 Parents: people.

110 School: millitary.

Last time?

103 Missed someone: today.

102 Hugged someone: today.

101. Seen someone you haven't in a long time: err. ?.

90 Who's the ditziest person you know: this girl in science.

89 Who makes you laugh the most: natalie or sohee or kyle or chris.

87 One thing I'm mad about right now: nothing.

83 The last movie I saw in the theater was: the departed.

82 The thing I don't understand is:relationships. natalies heart lolz. hitler's mustache.

81 Two Things I love about the opposite sex: they dont seem to understand consequence. they are different .

78. This summer: im having fun at pitchfork and lalapalooza.

77 Next year: i will drive a car legally.

76 Something I will really miss when I leave home: my home and my stuff.

75 The thing that I'm looking forward to the most is: christmas break.

72 Tomorrow: school is coming.

71 Today is: sunday.

70 For Christmas: i am making cookies and cupcakes.

62 The person(s) who knows the most about me is: uhh. no one?.

61 The person that can read me the most is: my best friend.

60 The most difficult thing to do is: tell the truth.

58 I have the following siblings: dylan and michael.

57 My crush(s): is awsum.

56 My relationship status is: ?.

54 Who do you feel most comfortable with: a few close people.

53 The one person who can't hide things from me is: all my friends.

51 Right now I am talking to: natalie and chris.

48. I have a job:my brothers.

47. I have a pet(s): doggy.

46. I hope: my friends last.

45. The best sound in the world: rain storm.

44. THE ONE person that made me cry the most is: my dad.

43. Have You ever done drugs: ....

42. Have You ever Smoked: one drag. its gross.

41. Last party you went to: don't remeber.

42. Which parent are you closest with: mom..

39. What's your favorite movie: little miss sunshine or garden state.

36. Last person you talked to:nat.

35. Someone you've gotten closer with this year: sohee and chris and alot of people and jen and tersa.

34. Gotten in a fight lately: verbally? yes.

33. My favorite piece of clothing is: my comfy pants.

32. My favorite sport is: football.(or sport of love. lolz.)

31. Last time I cried: last weekend.

27: Last person you got mad at: dad.

26. My worst experience I've ever had was/is: dont wanna think about it.

21. The all-time best thing in the world is: emotions.

20. So, about them Canadians: eh? eh?.

19. The most annoying thing ever is/are: ignorant children.

18. The most annoying person you know is: my dad.

17. I lose respect for people who: do stupid shit or act like idiots on purpose.

16. I hate: unacceptance.

15. I Love: natalie.(happy now?) and unconformists. and other stuff.
.

14. My Favorite Day is: most days.

13. My Favorite Month is: september or december.

12. My Favorite band is: n/a.

11. The worst pain I ever felt: the pain of not escaping.

10. My favorite phrase: sup?.

9. Who do you want to go out with: a guy.

8. My favorite actress/actor is: johnny depp and natalie portman.

7. Your weaknesses: other peoples pains.

6. Inside joke between you and your best friend: kitties.

5. cats: are kitties!!!!.

4. Whats your phone number?: a number that connects to my phone.

3. Who broke your heart:no one.

2. What's your greatest emotional fear?: i dont know what you call it.

1. What do you hate most about yourself: my insecurities.


01:03 am 12/11/06 10 of words talk	shannyn_paix this is so i won't forget it.

11:11 pm
12/6/06

talk

shannyn_paix

smile.

today was a good day. which im glad about... this is the second day i have spent glued to the computer which isnt so good. but thats ok. i like this guy who is really cool. i hope something happens. cuz hes really cool...